After trying unsuccessfully

After trying unsuccessfully to find someone to eat dinner with me last night, I gave up and made some hot wings. They were delicious, although eating hot wings by yourself strikes me as lonelier than eating most foods by yourself. It's the social, bar and beer stigma attached to them, I think. But pizza isn't the same way. There's something to think about.

So, pretty much all my friends know me as "Wasson". Since high school, most people I know have ignored the fact that I have a first name, and even a middle name. I've decided this somewhat lax and personable approach to my name needs to be dealt with immediately. I don't want people to feel comfortable addressing me anymore, so from now on I'd appreciate it if everyone referred to me by my entire first name, followed by my entire middle name. Timothy Joseph. If you're capable, say it in an English accent. If you're not capable, try to stretch out the syllables to make it sound more important. If you, like most, think I don't look enough like a Timothy to call me Timothy, then I insist you call me "Sir Wasson the First".

The Dude: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.