First things first...

First things first... here's me being famous.

Second things second, an accouncement which will shock and surprise some of my old friends who have known me a long time. I've decided to take steps to make myself less sarcastic and cynical. My sarcasm has landed me in some mild trouble once or twice, like fights that I've barely avoided and people angry at me because they can't tell if I'm joking or not. I've never let those things bother me before and moved on with my sarcastic ways without a second thought.

But lately I've felt completely dead inside, and I think the cynical side of me is to blame. Sure, it's hard to hurt my feelings and make me cry (real, real fucking hard), but at the same time, it's real hard to feel any of the good things, too. I was discussing this problem with my partner in crime, Fabish, who helped me reach the horrible levels of sarcasm that I've reached. To quote him, "yeah, it would be really great if I could get excited about something again. Or even upset." For the past 15 years or so, I've been talking to people, but thinking of my reply instead of actually listening to what they're saying. Then I act all condescending like what they said didn't matter. Not to be a jerk, but because sometimes it's funny. Like "Hey Tim, I just won an Oscar!", and I'd reply "Sweet. I went grocery shopping. So what?"

Anyway, I'm closing in on the time in my life that I should stop being an asshole all the time. Sarcasm used to be a good friend, but I have enough good friends these days that I don't need it anymore. I'm not ever defending myself against anyone or anything like that. And I'm crazy funny, so I know I don't need the sarcasm for my sense of humor. Right? Right.

My next vice to conquer: Procrastination. Then: Beer. But the beer one is a long ways off.