Molly came over last night. It was strange, because she's more of Steph's friend and I hang out with her only when hanging out with Steph. I really thought that's all we'd ever be, so I was shocked to get the call last night, and even more shocked when she came over and just hung out at the apartment with me and Fabish. It didn't really seem like her idea of a good time.
Anyway, she left to go out with her boyfriend, and later Amy and Myra came by to watch Oh Brother, Where Art Thou, one of the greatest movies of all time.
And with just under 4 working days left here at Iona, I feel I should ramble on about it for a while.
As most of you know, I've had this job a little over a year. However, what most of you DON'T realize is that I wanted this job long before I applied for it. In my Career Development class we had to pick a company we wanted to work for, call them, and interview one of the people in charge about the job. That was about 6 months before I graduated. I stumbled across Iona's webpage while looking for jobs in my field in Peoria, since I wanted more than anything to get back in Peoria, away from Chicago.
Why, you ask, did I set my sights so low? Well, for my friends, mostly. Steph, Mullens, and Angie were my little group of buddies who I thought were just the greatest thing ever. If you read the beginning of the journal, I was working in the same place, living in the same place, but perfectly content because of this group of friends. Well, since then the whole thing has fallen apart. I don't think while I was in college I realized I was "setting my sights low", even though some instructors and other students hinted at it. They said I could do things better than the Iona Group, that in a few years I could be playing with the big boys. At the time, it didn't interest me. I just wanted to hang out with Mullens and drink beer.
Were my priorities wrong, or were the people I chose to prioritize wrong? Hm.
Nowadays I seem to think the opposite... if I can be happy in a job, I'll be happy with my life rather than vise versa. When I say it outloud (or in typing, rather) it seems rather simplified and naive.
In any case, I'm not happy with my job or my social life. But for the first time ever I'm taking steps to improve both of them. I'm not going to settle for a crappy job for a great social life, or a great job for no social life. I want both. Is that possible in Peoria? No... I don't think so. I want to play with the big boys. I want to get a real job with people like me, my age, who are interested in the things I'm interested in. I want to get a job where my work will be seen, where I'll get some recognition. I want people to ask me "what do you do?" and I'll be able to reply "well, did you see that movie? I did one of the scenes in there."
I'm stuck in Peoria until May. I could probably talk my roommates into letting me out of the lease, but I'd feel bad for that. So I'm going to try and make my remaining months here as good as possible, knowing full well I'll never feel 100%.
But anyway, less than 4 working days left. I feel like I should be more worried than I am.