So let's hash it out, guys and/or girls who feel neglected, rejected, or otherwise pissed off at me. First, here's my side.
I think I'm a pretty easy friend. I like hanging out with people and will certainly make an effort to hang out with anyone when called to do so. Sometimes, however, this just isn't possible. Examples: When you call me at 5:30 to meet you for dinner at 6:00 and I'm completely dirty with my yard work clothes on in the middle of a job that I couldn't stop at that instant. If I were to call you and you were in the aforementioned situation, I wouldn't let it bother me or become offended by it... I would move on and find something else to do and try again later.
I like my friends easy. And not in the sexual way, either. John Zarr is a buddy of mine, although not a great friend, and I see him about 4 times a year. When we see each other, we shake hands, we drink some beers, and we catch up on what's been going on since the last time we saw each other. Even my best friend, Fabish, I see maybe once a month, twice tops.
I don't like being tested in a friendship. I'll leave it at that. Don't test me, it will simply piss me off.
Some people are making it like I have this great social life but pick and choose who I want to spend time with every weekend or weeknight and some people don't make the cut. No. That's not right. Most weekends I go out on Friday nights with the regular crew who can make it out in time, then I do housework the rest of the weekend. If you're one of the people invited along on Fridays, then guess what... you're one of the friends who I see the most often. That would include pretty much everyone reading this. When I hang out with Mullens or Fabish, it's usually for a 45 minute dinner or something that fits easier into a schedule than the 2 or 3 hour dinners on those Friday nights. Plus they live so close that meeting up is quick and easy and requires very little planning, as they work the same schedule I do and have busy nights and weekends, as I do, and are as eager to get home and start them as I am.
I mean, shit, I have a life. I work an early ass shift and, therefore, my schedule doesn't exactly match up with a lot of people's. I'm sick of making an effort to go out and see people, then get a bunch of shit for leaving too early. Would you rather I not go out at all if I'm going to go home on the early side? Because I definitely get the impression that's the case. And if so, I'll be glad to stay home and get shit done. Just let me know.
You have to understand that when I leave early or don't show up at all, it's not a slap in the face. It's me being busy with life. You also have to understand that I hate, hate, hate, hate calling people to chat and catch up. You also have to understand that I'm terrible at replying to emails and journal comments, and although I'm trying to get better, when you don't get a reply it doesn't mean I didn't read it or don't care.
Nothing I do is a slap in the face on purpose. It's me trying to juggle 2 very different sets of friends who don't ever hang out, along with a girlfriend, along with a house that needs a lot of work, along with a job whose schedule I still haven't gotten the hang of, along with a couple other side projects I never seem to have any time at all for, and then trying to get it all done in enough time to watch America's Funniest Home Videos on Sunday nights. It's quite a task and not as easy to juggle as it may seem. I'm not good at multitasking and I'm great at procrastinating, but will always try to make time when I'm called by a friend or 2. But you also have to give me the benefit of the doubt that when I leave early it's not because I hate you... it's because I'm tired and have to wake up early the next day. And if you give me shit about going home... well then why did I bother going out at all?
If you've been offended by anything I've done in the past week or 2 or 10 or whatever, feel free to leave a comment about exactly why I did what I did and I'll explain to the best of my ability. I'll also apologize in advance because I know life has gotten in the way of my social life, and sometimes I neglect both groups of friends I wish I could hang out with more.