pathetic

In reading that post of mine, I realized I made myself sound relatively pathetic. Hopefully that's not the case.

I do consider myself relatively unexperienced in both the relationship and physical world. I like to say this is because I'm picky as to who I choose to date. Hopefully this is true.

The first girl I dated (and kissed) was when I was 15. I liked her for no reason than she liked me. I dumped her because another girl liked me. I dated her for a while, but she was very clingy. I was 16 and wanted to goof off with my friends, and she didn't want me to do that. I dumped her. This is the girl that later in my life, at 18, I decided I wanted to be with. I was wrong and that turned out... well, not so well.

The 3rd girl I dated was stupid. Not the girl, but the circumstance. I dated her for no reason, other than that she would date me back. I figured that "liking" part would come later. It never did. I dumped her too.

Do the math, and see that I've never been dumped. Go me.

More math though will reveal to you my lack of inexperience, as told of earlier.

I never even ended up kissing the 3rd girl I dated. It just never felt right with her. I've kissed 4 girls in my life. The first 2 girls I dated and 2 other random girls at random parties that got drunk and decided it was a good idea to ram their tongues down my throat. I usually cut these off as soon as I could, never getting carried away, despite how drunk I was.

So now you're starting to think that I'm very inexperienced, right? As in... like an 8 year old or something? Close, but no. I wanted (note the past tense) to have the loss of my virginity mean something. Not necessarily wait until marriage, but have it be special, and good. Unfortunately that's not how things worked out. It was a bad, uncomfortable experience that really changed a lot of things in my head, for the worse. I'll let you use your imaginations as to who the lucky lady was.

Nowadays I wouldn't have the slightest idea as to how to ask a girl out or kiss her for the first time, much less do anything else that people usually do in dating. Sad, huh?

And to think, this was supposed to make me out as not-pathetic.