I was talking to Mullens about this the other day, and I thought the conversation warranted its own post.
He was giving me hell about not having a girlfriend and not going out of my way to sleep with, hit on, or flirt with girls. I reminded him that I was still recently single, and he reminded me that its not so recent after all. I hadn't ever bothered counting the months or days of singlehood, but I'll be damned if it hasn't been close to a year. It flew by.
Anyway, so I told him that I've never been happier or more satisfied with my life ever, in the history of the world, except maybe when I was a kid and didn't know how horrible the world can be sometimes. Still, things are going my way and I don't have much to complain about, nor do I have any motivating, driving force to change my life for the better. I have a good job, awesome friends, the world's greatest dog. There's not a lot I would change in my life. It's a good feeling to be so content and happy, except under those circumstances that it's not good.
See, not a lot of positive change happens from being content. If I wasn't happy with my job, I'd quit and look somewhere else for one. And I might find a better one or a worse one, but the point would be that I changed. If I wasn't content being single, I would look for a girlfriend. I may end up with a good one or a bad one, but the point is that I'd be trying.
And I'm not trying.
But that's not a bad thing, necessarily. It's more good than bad, probably. I just wish there was something in my life that I wasn't satisfied with, but the only things that exist in my life that suck, I know will change on their own eventually. I do wish I had a desire to get a girlfriend. I want to stay single for a while, since being single is fantastic and wonderful, but at this stage in my life I can't imagine even WANTING a girl to share my awesomeness with. I'll share it with my friends and people I know will appreciate it. At this pace, I'm not going to reach my goal of having a kid by 30, which, if this year is indicative of how fast the years will fly by from now on, is just around the corner.
Anyway, I always saw myself as a guy that got recognition and maybe a little income from the stuff he did. A guy that was able to turn his hobbies into his income. A guy who would be regarded as one of the most talented in his field, whatever his field happened to be. The good part is that I've discovered I can be happy without ever getting that fame and fortune. The bad part is not striving for it because I'm "happy enough".