Tim Wasson - web nerd guy.

Blog

Ya ever get that feeling...

... like you have something to say but can't find the words? Like you want to express something to someone but don't know how? Like you know all the words will come out wrong before you even say them.

I get that a lot.

I speak slowly about serious topics. I think a lot. Too much probably. I have a tendency to not trust people, but then when I decide they can be trusted, I trust them too much.

In high school I used to not sleep at night because I had a lot on my mind. Girls, problems at home, not knowing where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.

I don't get that anymore...

... but I don't know why. I probably have just as many problems now as I did then. Maybe more? No, not more.

I think a lot, but I don't feel enough. I used to. Maybe that was my problem in high school. Maybe I need to turn on that part of my brain. I'm so nihilistic about so many things. Maybe my "fuck it and forget it" attitude has worn me down. Maybe I'm "hardened" to use the words of someone who's advice I take very seriously.

Or maybe I'm just thinking about it too much.

tired. so tired.

I'm really tired this morning. More than usual even.

So, I actually got a response to my LiveJournal thing. I never thought I would see the day. I haven't even gotten interesting yet, so just wait until I do.

I don't have much to report today and I'm really not in the mood to ramble. Maybe later today.

No, definitely later today.

Guess what I did today....

... nothing. Nothing at all. An exaggeration? I wish. No, I didn't do anything, and it sucked. I'm leaving early again, just as I do everyday. But, I felt like I should stay here a little longer than usual, and needed a way to waste time until then. I decided to type in this thing. So far I've wasted 34 seconds.

That's long enough. I'm outtie.

The weekend

The weekend was all right, I suppose. I made a bunch of plans with a bunch of different people, all with one goal in mind... to travel about 50 miles south and visit my would be girlfriend. That is, she would be my girlfriend, if she had any interest in me whatsoever. But I digress.

Well, long story short, everyone backed out on me at the last minute, leaving me to make the trek to ISU all by my lonesome. Not that I'm complaining. The girl I was visiting didn't want to drink, but she DID want to hang out with 3 other annoying girls whom I have never met before. Not that I'm complaining. We went bowling and out to eat, during which I said 4... maybe 5 words. I think she realized I wasn't having a good time and we called it a night early. At about midnight they went home, leaving me and her alone. Finally. We just talked for hours, catching up and joking around. It was really nice. It was what I hoped the whole night would have been. We didn't talk about "us" because we've exhausted that topic for the time being I think.

I got back to good 'ole Peoria around 4 am, crashed immediately, then slept until about 2 pm the next day. Saturday we hit a few bars downtown but I wasn't drunk enough to have a good time in a crowded, stuffy, smokey bar. I spent about $22 on about 4 beers. Screw the bars. I can get a 30 pack for $20. Of course, the sluts with backless shirts are a little more expensive than beer, and those come free when you go to the bars. Maybe I will stick to the bar scene after all.

It sounds cool in theory....

Having a job where they pay me to sit here all day long. I spend my time on AOLIM, downloading songs off Napster, responding to emails, planning for the weekends, and reloading webpages every 2-4 seconds to see if something has changed. Quite a life I lead, eh?

I've been reading up on other people's journals. It looks like a lot of people are doing the same shit I decided to do. Don't get too personal, be ambiguous, make harsh generalizations that they think will stir up some interest. It's all bullshit.

There's also a lot of people quoting song lyrics. Genius. That's genius.

Then there's the people who bitch. "My life sucks. I have nothing to live for." Jesus, shut the fuck up. We don't care. If you think people you've never met and who happen to type about themselves in the same forum care whether you live or die, you're even more pathetic than your posts make you out to be.

Not that I have a problem with any of this stuff. It's an open forum. You can do whatever you want, and I'll gladly ignore it.

There's more to life than this thing. There's more to life than a lot of things. I told you I'd be ambiguous, didn't I? Certain aspects of everyone's life sucks. When they dwell on them, they suck even more. Certain aspects of my life suck. Grin, bare it, drink a beer, and forget about it.

I really wish I had more to do than post in this fucking thing today.

I won't be posting on the weekend. I have a life on the weekends. Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm I have nothing. But, I'm sure some interesting things will happen this weekend, and I'll be sure to bitch... I mean... tell you all about them when I return to hell... I mean work... on Monday. Til then, peace out. I'm gonna get outta here early today.

Because I don't have anything better to do.

Well, I ran into this site entirely by accident. My job isn't doing very well keeping me busy, so I have time to search out things I may have an interest in. I basically wanted a journal program I could type into, but posting it on the web seemed pretty cool too. I mean, I have some interesting things to say. Not many, but some.

I'm not entirely sure how in depth this thing is gonna get. I'll probably put a lot of bullshit on here that I don't care if people read. Not entirely the most honest thing I could do, huh? But, it'll work. I'll bare my soul to my friends, but not to strangers on the internet. Most people reading this are probably stalkers and freaks. Luckily I'm not attractive enough to stalk.

So... I suppose this first entry should get you posted on current event in my life, huh? Here goes.

I just got back to my hometown after 2 years of being away in Chicago. I think I could pretty easily say those were the worst years of my life, but I could just as easily say that these are the best. I have a kick ass car (a Z28 I love more than anything), am making a decent wage for a job I like (when they give me something to do) and I have the coolest friends in the world. I also have a love interest who wants nothing to do with me. I suppose I'll get into that later, eh?

I've been living with my parents, making the wage I do for quite some time now, so I've had a lot to blow on stupid junk like big screen TVs, DVD players, surround sound, and of course, huge ass speakers. It's been fun, but my financial freedom is coming to a stop sometime in the near future. I'm moving out. In about 2 weeks I'll have my own place. It should be good, provided the crackheads living across the street don't steal my junk.

That's about it for now. Expect more later. I imagine I'll type in this thing everyday from work until they give me something to do.