Again I didn't

Again, I didn't do anything last night.

I went to help my Aunt with her computer. I do that once a week, and she gives me $20 every time. That'll start adding up, but I hate taking time out of my 'busy' schedule. Actually, I just hate taking time away from my friends. But anyway.

I got home and didn't have any messages on my answering machine. That's strange and disturbing. I tried calling a few people to no avail before giving up and watching TV. I watched some special on UFOs. It was fantastic. Or something.

I got a phone call from a friend of mine, Brandon Wickwire. I will now take a few paragraphs to express some annoyances I have with him and another friend.

I like Brandon. I really do. We were good friends in high school. We were the ones who would sit out during gym class and make fun of people. We'd doodle in class rather than pay attention, we both read comic books, blah blah blah. But, I was more of a friend of convenience for him. He's the type who can't be happy unless he's with a girl, so we'd hang out between his girlfriends. The good thing is that he tended to realize this, and apologized for it. I don't go out of my way to spend time with him anymore, and he doesn't expect me to. That's good. He's decided what his priorities are, and I've decided mine. He's also incredibly straight-edge, and while he doesn't approve of my drinking, he also doesn't condemn me for it. He's got, or had, plenty of friends who were way more hardcore than I ever was.

Now on to another friend, John Zarr. Talk about being convenient. I spent a good deal of high school trying to get him out of his shell and go out and do things. He never wanted to. Finally I started making leaps and bounds with him. It got to the point that he'd get bored and give me a call, which he never would have done before. Well, right about then, his sister died. I felt bad after that, forcing him to go out and calling him a sissy when he wouldn't. So, we kind of went our own separate ways, and I'd call him when I was in town. We hang out, but less than usual, because he always wanted to call it a night early and we were never interested in doing the same things anymore. Nowadays, I ALWAYS call him. Every time we go out, it's because I called him. A few months ago I called him and we went out to dinner, during which he made some comment that I only called him because Mullens was out of town. That pissed me off really bad. Then he wanted to go home at 10 to email his would-be girlfriend. Pardon me for not wanting to go out with him anymore. Still, I gave him a few more chances and called him a few more times. I just can't handle his comments. He doesn't want me meeting his girlfriend because he thinks I'll make a bad impression of him. Or something. Every time I call him, he gives me a hard time about not calling him enough. I invite him to my parties, he accepts, then doesn't show up. I guess he had to play on his computer instead. Well, this isn't the point anymore.

Brandon was calling to tell me he had a tumor. They're almost positive it's benign, and they're pretty sure it's harmless. The surgery to remove it is pretty standard, so there's not a lot to worry about. Brandon seemed in good spirits about it, able to make jokes and laugh at mine. It's strange to me how all this bad stuff happens to all my friends, and not me. I've been incredibly lucky in life. I was raised in a very privileged home, not just financially, but also able to give me social skills that help me in life better than their money ever could. The diseases that are pretty common in my family have avoided our small section of it, mostly. No major health problems to speak of in my immediate family, which I can't say about my extended family.

But after I heard Brandon's news, I hoped I wasn't taking my friends for granted. Both Brandon and John used to be some of my best friends. Sure, Brandon is going to be okay, but what if it was something more serious? Would I miss the opportunities I never even took? Did that question even make sense? And John... sure, I have nothing but bad feelings for him now. But I also have nothing but good memories from a few years back. Which is more important? Lately I've been choosing things for myself for the "right now", but what about the "back then"? Should I forget that stuff? Ah, questions.

This post has been awfully random. I hope you've made sense of it.

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