Cheering up.
So, I'm feeling better now.
I had my phone conversation with the aforementioned porno guy, and it went really well. He didn't mention the porn cartoons much, and when he did, he seemed to be saying "we have enough people doing porn cartoons. We need this other kind of cartoon". The kind he's looking for are fast paced, action oriented, flashy lights type cartoons. Basically they'd be a freaking blast to work on and I'm really hoping I get it. They'd be for a site selling legal alternatives to pot, ecstacy, etc., so they're still not 100% legit, but close. And I wouldn't be ashamed at all to show friends and family what I've been working on. So that's a positive too.
He was one of those nervous types who couldn't stop talking. He stuttered a lot. Be he had lots of great ideas and I think it would be fun to work with him. At this point, I think I have a very good chance at getting at least a cartoon or 2 finished for him.
At the end of the conversation I was feeling good about the whole thing and I knew I had a shot to work with him. He pointed me in the direction of a couple of drawings he really liked and told me he wanted me to copy the style and do a drawing for him in that style. He'd pay me $35 just to see what I could do. I told him no problem. He said he wanted it in 20 minutes. I said there was a problem. He gave me an hour.
Basically, I couldn't do it. I was trying to do it so fast and it just came out looking like ass. I redid it a few times, but it never looked right. Finally my hour was gone (plus a little more), and I had nothing to show for it. I emailed him a lame excuse (a lie, too) about why I couldn't get it done but promised him the drawing by the end of the night. I took a short break to yell and be pissed off, then tried 1 more time. And I got it done. And it looked pretty okay to me. But he absolutely loved it. He wants me to do another one now. Which is encouraging.
But man, last night I sure felt like shit when I couldn't draw this thing. I was so frustrated. I mean, drawing is what I think I'm supposed to do with my life in one way or another, and I couldn't draw this damn cartoon girl? What kind of artist am I? But in the end, I finished it and the client is happy and he wants another, and I'm about 75% sure that this will lead into me making a cartoon for him. So things are good. And the cartoon won't be porn. And that makes me happy. And I'm using my college education, which is good. And it will give me something to do and make me feel not worthless on the days I don't go to the gallery. And I'm down to a legitimate (not a fake) 217. Go Tim.