Friday night.

Okay. This post will be pretty ambiguous, just to warn you. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

So, here's the deal. I've gotten pretty close to this girl I met on the internet. This is pretty weird for me. I've never been one to let things like that happen. I'm too rational for my own good sometimes, and I realize that whoever I'm talking to on the internet isn't a real person, really. There's too much room for interpretation, and idealization, stuff like that. I could form her into however I wanted her to be, ya know? So, I never really chatted with people I don't know in real life, and when I did, it was relatively boring, and never consistently with the same person.

Well, this girl was different enough that I made the trek to meet her. We, or at least I, had a really good time. But, at the same time, I know it's weird that I 'met' her on the internet. It's completely weird, and completely not me. There's a couple of saving factors here though.

She mentioned to me that it was weird. I had to agree. So, we both know it's a strange situation, and that's a good thing. I wouldn't want her to think it's a completely normal event.

She also asked if I told my friends about her. I hadn't told them, and I told her that, too. Hopefully she wasn't expecting me to say "Yeah, I told them everything." But we'll get into that later. The point is that she knows this is weird as much as I do, and I wish I had less friends, so this would be easier for me.

I did tell Steph, and she didn't like it. She told me not to go. I'm worried my other friends would react in the same way.

My friends did ask me where I was on Friday. I freaked out. I didn't know what to say.

I have to explain something about my group of friends. They're very, very elusive. They don't like telling the truth about a lot of things. They make all sorts of excuses and dodge questions. It's incredibly annoying. I pride myself on telling them things that need to be said, without making excuses for them or myself. I've inspired, if that's the right word, to do some of this themselves. I'm really proud of Angie when I invite her somewhere and she says "No, I'm not in the mood" as opposed to "I don't have money" "I have homework" "I'm waiting for a phone call" or various other excuses she used to use on a daily basis.

I hate lying to my friends, and I never really do it. But, on Saturday, when they asked me where I was, I lied like a dog.

I told them that Barb's dad died, which is the truth, and I spent all night with her, talking. Ever since, I've felt horrible. I'm just not looking forward to telling them the truth. I'm not exactly sure how they are going to take it. And maybe I shouldn't care this much, but I really do. My friends mean everything to me, and it's not that they wouldn't approve or whatever, but they would think it's weird. And it is.

Eventually I'll tell them, and I'll need to confess the entire thing to make myself feel better. I'll just wait until the right time, I guess. How I'll know what the right time is... I have no idea. Until then, this is just our little secret, I guess. It's between me and a few other people who live a few hundred miles away, which is also weird.

So, that's about it. That's my non-drama for now.

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