I guess I

I guess I didn't have a lot to say last year at this time, but I do have a bit to say now.

I don't have a good memory. Ask anyone I know. It's pretty terrible. But I remember last September 11th like it was yesterday. I had only been freelancing a little over a week, and I slept in late. I went into the living room, where Fabish was watching Saturday Night Live on Comedy Central. After about half an hour, he got up to take a shower and I kept on watching. About 5 minutes later, my mom called and told me to turn to a news channel. I was absolutely shocked at what I saw.

By that time, both planes had hit the towers and there was huge clouds of smoke everywhere. Every once in a while, they'd cut to a reporter who was covered in dust. The streets were white. The ground and cars were all covered with thick, light gray dust. It looked like a scene out of a movie. I couldn't believe it was real.

I ran back to the bathroom and yelled at Fabish through the bathroom door. "Dude, get out here right now! We've been attacked! Some terrorists flew airplanes into the World Trade Center." Fabish replied "Yeah right. Whatever." I mean, I don't blame him at all.

It was unbelievable. We sat down and watched the reports and the live footage. Just as the first building fell, Alan got home from work.

He'd been sent home early because he worked at an airport. It was then I learned that every airport in America had been shut down. Not even 1 plane was in the air. We just sat there, speechless, until one of us was so overcome with anger that we had to say something. We'd try to crack jokes, but what exacty could you say that was appropriate? Was it okay to be funny? There was some awkward laughter as we tried to sort out what was and wasn't appropriate to say.

But overall, the general feeling of September 11th to me wasn't sadness. It wasn't grief. Yes, those were there. But the biggest were anger and confusion. How could someone do this to America?

As the towers fell, my heart sank. CNN kept playing and replaying the planes hitting the towers. Over and over again. From every possible angle. It was unbelievable that so many cameras were out that day, and that so many survived the attacks. I remember one shot that I only saw once. It was a guy on the ground, shooting up at the towers. The plane flew overhead and crashed into the side of the building. The noises, the glass, the fire, the smoke. It was all unbelievable.

The days that followed restored my views on America. I've always loved this country. Always. I've always stood up for it when people, fellow Americans, would bash it. I still believe to this day that there is no other country as good as we are. There's no country I want to live in more. The days following September 11th only proved me right.

People in my neighborhood put up signs on their houses. "Together, we will stand". It was odd that such a tragedy, such a horrible event, would bring everyone together. For the next few weeks, all Americans loved America. It's a shame that feeling wouldn't last forever.

Then, the episode of SNL with Rudy Guliani and the NYC Fire Department making an appearance. Lorne asked Rudy if it was okay to be funny. Rudy replied "Why would you start now?"

Last year, everyone said that this event would change everything. I couldn't be happier that it didn't. What would that say about us, as a country, if we let 1 event... 1 day in a long, long history, change who we are? Sure, it's changed some things. But overall, things today are exactly as they were last September 10th. Americans still have a cynical, arrogant, and sarcastic sense of humor. America is still the greatest place on Earth to live. America isn't afraid to take action against these terrorists. America is still strong.

I still want justice. I still want to see Bin Laden's head cut off. I still want to see the War on Terrorism and I want to see America taking measures to make sure this won't happen again. Yes, i'm still angry about the event, even a year later. And I'm still angry about those fuckers on the street last year, dancing and saying that God is great.