So I went

So, I went and saw The Village last night with Wolfie, and I'll cut my review because I'm sure it will contain spoilers.

This was one big pile of stinky crap if I ever did see one. I hated virtually every second, and the seconds I didn't spend hating it, I spent bored.

So, yeah, I guessed the twist. Shamalanadingdong, listen up... from now until the end of time, people will watch your movies, always guessing what the twist will be at the end. You've had to get more clever, and this movie did a shit job of it. "The monsters are real! Nope, fake! Just kidding, REAL! Oh, wait, no, FAKE!" Finally, I just stopped caring.

But that was only 1 twist. The real twist was that it was set in present day! Yeah, no shit. I figured that out way before that lady said the word "alley". I probably guessed at the overuse of the word "fortnight" and how the dialogue between everyone seemed overly forced. Oh, and poorly written. I realize the twists are the important thing in these crap movies, but they should at least be written well.

As I told Wolfie, I can buy that a group of people can get sick of civilization (look at my road rage) and want to form a commune. And I can buy that a rich guy built a huge compound for it and people don't ever see that it's there. I'm good at suspending disbelief for a movie and I don't try to pick out continuity errors or anything. I'm pretty forgiving as far as those things go. But with this movie, I just couldn't buy that this group of people went into this compound carrying old-school style clothes and decided to talk like it was the 1800's. That's just too much. If they were going to install this huge compound, they would have at least gone for running water and showers. Trust me, no one wants to live life without showers, and I don't think the almighty professor thought that showers corrupted society. I can also buy that these people never used or knew of cuss words, but I can't buy that "fortnight" is suddenly so common again.

Oh, and for "the things they don't speak of", they sure do speak of them a helluva lot.

And "the bad color" was just cheesy.

← Home