This weekend was pretty uneventful. I knew it would be when it started, so I can't say that I was too upset about it.
Friday night me, Steph, and Angie went to Damon's. I paid, as per usual. Afterwards we call came back to my apartment where Tim Callahan stopped by. We discussed erections and masturbation in depth. The girls had many questions which we were all too happy to answer. Girls do not understand the phenomenon of erections, let me tell you. They thought every time I guy had one, it meant he was aroused. That is way, way, way off. Most of the time they're annoying, not exciting. Ah, but I digress.
Saturday I helped Alan, my brand new roommate move in. He didn't have a lot of stuff, so with 4 people movie it took about 20 minutes to get everything jammed into his room. Afterwards he took us all out to dinner. Steph, Angie, and Molly were going to come over and I really wanted to either drink or go see Dracula 2000. We drank a little, but not nearly enough for my tastes. We talked even more about masturbation, pubic hair... interesting stuff. I'm so happy people feel comfortable enough coming out and telling me this crap. Molly and Angie left early, and me and Steph discussed my general discontent with my love life. Even though she totally disagreed with my stance on the subject, hopefully she understood and doesn't think worse of me because of it. She told me she'd be a little disappointed if I stretched my boundaries to see what else was out there, but sometimes you have to live for yourself and not worry about what others will think about it. I just need to see what else it out there for me, and I need to do something different. What I'm doing now isn't doing much for me.
Sunday I went to the art store and picked up some supplies. They changed the whole store around. It had been a while since I had been in there, and everything was changed. I picked up a canvas, huge drawing paper, some pastels, lead holder, graphite, acrylics, new brushes... I'm all set, hopefully. I started a new painting last night too. It had been a long time since I just sat down and painted. Or, I guess I stood up and painted.
It's one of the most personal paintings I've ever done. From my conversation on Saturday I was all in the mood to get over myself and change the direction my love life is going. The best way is to do that, I think, is to forget what has happened up to that point. Hopefully this painting will help me get there. There's 2 girls I have to get over completely before moving on, the first being Barb, who I still have some issues about. I dug through all my old notebooks from high school and found my Economics notebook from senior year. This was the notebook I would write notes to Barb in, then pass it up to her, and she'd write one back. They're very random and hard to make sense of, but I read some of what we had written to each other, for inspiration. They didn't help. Then I looked in the margins of the notebook, where I'd always sketch and doodle little weird things. These are always some of the most interesting drawings I do, but unfortunately don't translate well to anything outside a notebook. I figured I'd give it a shot anyway. I drew a weird collage of a whole bunch of these weird old drawings. Most of them are filled with hate and violence, which is incredibly appropriate. My favorite is a very child-like drawing of a woman looking very mean, complete with devil horns. She's standing there with a cut off head in her hand. There's a label that says "barb" and points to the woman. Kinda weird, huh? I have no idea what I was thinking when I drew that, but it was obviously strangely appropriate.